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his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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