Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
