He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
