they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
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I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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