I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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