BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Also, beer. Big fan.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
