so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
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