1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
