Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
