i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
