Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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