I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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