whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
