i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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