Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
