I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
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have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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