He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
