i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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