when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
