No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
