I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
