guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
