oh god the rape fog is back!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
