One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
