yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
