our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I have surprise drugs for everyone
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
