nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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