If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I think I am morally bankrupt
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
