Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
