just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Randomize
