Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
