i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
