"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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