This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
