everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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