i came on her dog
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
