i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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