Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
