I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
