Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
