Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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