About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize
