Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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