thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
