what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
