She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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