yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
