I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
