Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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