oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
