Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
