Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just gift wrapped bread.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
