I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Randomize
