then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
