i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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