: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
