Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
