Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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