I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
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So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
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He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
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