She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
