He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
