accomplished twins. life is a go
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
