So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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