We're facebook friends in real life
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I need moral support for this bender
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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